Tired of your property telling you what to do? Most people let their computers boss them around, just because they don’t know how to keep their computers in line (and because Microsoft seems to think that programs shouldn’t have to ask permission before they do stuff). Here are a few simple ways to regain control of your computer. It’s like training a dog: it might take some work at first, but in the end it will make your life much easier.

One small caveat: at every moment there is a chance that your computer may die a terrible death and take all your files with it. Messing with your system settings may slightly increase that possibility. So, back up your files, and keep notes on what you’ve done so you can undo it.

Or to put it another way: if your computer crashing would seriously screw you up, then you’ve already got big problems.

Tip 1: Msconfig
What it is: This program comes with Windows and lets you control what happens during start-up. A lot of programs, when you install them, put junk in your startup. Stuff that is in your startup yet that you rarely see is called a TSR (terminate and stay resident). Sometimes the stuff in your startup is necessary for the program to be able to work well, but in the majority of cases it is completely unnecessary. Sometimes the startup helps you load that program faster, but slows down everything else on your system. Unnecessary TSRs can make your computer start slower, run slower, crash more often and some even make ads pop up.

How to use it: Go to start, go to run, type in msconfig. When the program opens up, go to the Startup tab. Uncheck anything you don’t think needs to start up automatically when your computer does. Re-check it every once in a while (a few especially evil programs, including some versions of Real Player, will put themselves back in startup every time they are run).

If things go bad: If something stops working after you use msconfig, it probable means that the TSR was actually necessary. Go back in to msconfig and re-check it.

Always remember: It shouldn’t be in start-up unless you want it starting up.

Tip 2: ZoneAlarm
Forget complicated terms like “firewall”, the concept is much more simple: before any program on your computer sends or receives data from the internet, it must first get your permission. ZoneAlarm is a free program that keeps a list of what programs are allowed to access the internet. Whenever a new program tries to access the internet, ZoneAlarm asks you what it should do and then remembers your answer.

How to use it: Go to www.zonealarm.com, download the free version and install it. It will start up automatically when the computer starts up. At first, it will ask you about every single program. You can tell it yes or no, and if you’re confident that this will always be your answer you can tell it to “remember” you answer. As it builds a list of your answers it will need less and less guidance. Most programs will probably make you think “why does this want to access the internet?” Some programs check for updates, some programs support themselves by pulling down banner ads, some programs (known as ‘spyware’) report on what you’re doing to the program’s creators.

If things go bad: If you doubleclick on the Zone Alarm icon in your system tray (next to the time) a control panel will pop up. If you think you might have made the wrong decision about a program, simply delete the entry for that program and you can start all over again. If Zone Alarm is screwing with your ability to log in to some network, you can always uninstall it (Start -> Control Panel -> Add/Remove Programs).

Always remember: If you’re not using the program to connect to the internet, don’t give it access to the internet.

Tip 3: Ad-aware/Spybot Search and Destroy
We’ve already mentioned spyware (programs that report on you to their owners). Their cousin is adware, programs that show you ads. A lot of the free programs you might download off the internet aren’t really free: the owner makes money by installing some third party adware/spyware program on your computer. A lot of websites try to trick you in to installing these programs. The people who make adaware and spybot s&d keep a list of known adware and spyware. You can get these programs for free and they will search your computer for offending programs and (with your permission, of course) delete them.

d What to do: Go to www.lavasoftusa.com and www.safer-networking.org and download ad-aware and spybot search and destroy. Download them, run them, let them access the internet (they need info on the latest spyware and adware). They will give you a list of stuff they think is spyware or adware and give you the ability to remove it. For the most part, once these programs have identified something, it is best to remove it using Add/Remove Programs (under Start -> Control Panel) if you can. If you can’t, go ahead and let adaware or spybot remove it.

If things go bad: Spybot keeps track of the changes it has made and can undo them (just click on the Recovery icon from the main Spybot screen).

Tip 4: Get a Better Web Browser
I used to reccommend pop-up stoppers. Now I will just reccommend Firefox. In addition to stopping most pop-ups, it doesn't let webpages take away your control as easily as some other browsers. For instance, other browsers can open windows that don't let you do anything except close or minimize the window. Firefox ignores, for instance, the 'noresize' tag that's supposed to tell your browser that you're not allowed to change the size of the window.

Tip 5: Services
If you run windows XP, there’s things your operating system starts up in the background when your computer starts up. It’s sort of like the TSRs I mentioned earlier, but because the operating system is the perpetrator, you can’t even see these running as applications when you hit control-alt-delete. And I guarantee you: there are some of these services you do not need. They slow your computer booting up, use up processor time and memory, and make your computer more vulnerable.

What to do: Got to http://smallvoid.com/tweak/winnt/services.html, it’s an amazing site that gives a list of services, tells what they do, and even gives you’re their recommendation on what they do. Then, go to Start -> Control Panel -> Administrative Tools -> Services. You can right-click on each service, go to properties, and choose the Startup Type. Disabled means it will never turn on, Automatic means it always turns on when the computer starts up, and Manual means that it will stay off until some program actually calls it. If you’re going to change anything, I recommend changing some of the Automatics to Manual. Do it one at a time and if anything stops working you can turn them back.

Good luck! Have fun! My advice carries no warranty with it, so please don’t sue me if your computer explodes.